Conservative and Liberal

Some friends of mine have been going back and forth on the issues of Iran and Afghanistan. One of them would be labeled "conservative," and the other, "liberal." In trying to pick apart their discussion and figure out where they agree and disagree, I found myself pondering the question of what "liberal" and "conservative" mean.

The web definition for "conservative" says that it means "resistant to change", and "opposed to liberal reforms" (go figure). The web definition for "liberal" is (appropriately enough) more complex, and mostly talks about favoring change; being "broad-minded"; tolerant of other views.

The practical definition of liberal and conservative is more involved than either of these, it seems. It's strange, for instance that conservatives are supposed to be resistant to change, and yet it is conservatives who are mostly behind the war in Iraq, which is all about big, sweeping "change", and was in fact in direct opposition to one of the most "conservative" regimes in the world. Liberals, on the other hand, resisted this change. So the real definition of liberal and conservative is really about the willingness to use military force, and whether or not change is being resisted or not has little to do with being conservative or liberal, and everything to do with the type of change. Liberals are resistant to one kind of change, and conservatives to another. Liberals are just as "conservative" as conservatives when it comes to things that liberals value.

The issue of civil liberties comes up, too, when discussing conservativism vs. liberalism. Defense of civil liberties is generally associated with liberal thinking. But what if the defense of civil liberties implies the use of force? Which is the stronger liberal value -- civil liberty or passifism?

Conversely, conservatives are generally associated with wanting less government -- unless, it seems, it involves, say, a woman's "right to choose." Liberals are generally opposed to the death penalty, but find ways to rationalize killing an unborn child.

The web definition of liberal includes "a person an economic theory of laissez-faire and self-regulating markets." This really confuses me. Isn't it conservatives who are general anti-regulation, whereas liberals are more inclined to control economics with government?

I've even heard people describe themselves as "socially liberal and economically conservative." Or vise-versa. Somehow, I seem to know what they mean, but I'm hard-pressed to get my head around it enough to write about it...

I'll probably come back to this many times, but I believe that the more people argue, the more they agree. I explain myself by the use of a little hypothetical "thought experiment." Imagine that we disagree vehemently on some issue: I say it's "black" and you say it's "white." Assuming (big assumption) we're both interested in the truth, and that there is such a thing (even bigger assumption), then there should be little argument. The situation should quickly reveal itself as either black or white. If, however, I say it's "grayish green" and you say it's "greenish gray", well then we have something to argue about. Put "it" next to something that's a dark, forest green, and I'll probably agree with you. Put it next to something clearly miliatary gray, and I might win you to my side. Or just put them next to each other and stare for awhile; they start to look the same, or like each other, and argument ensues.

The more people have to agree about, the more they argue about what's left over. Isn't it possible that conservatives and liberals who think they're diametrically opposed to one another actually largely agree (but are unwilling to admit it)? Why IS it that we get so emotionally attached to our own points of view!?

Also, if I'm right, shouldn't we be the most concerned with the people to whom we have nothing to say? And shouldn't we figure out a way to start the conversation? If it's true that the more people argue, the more they must really agree, might it also not be true that the more they discuss, the more they WILL agree?